31 Things | Joy & 3:35pm
So happy to have this project done. I hope it has inspired you to write down your own stories. Keep an eye out at Big Picture for the second edition of the 31 Things class. I have heard that Ali may be putting one on.
Story 30: 3:35pm | “Feeling Happy”
• kennedy sleeping in her crib (but stirring so i know she’s almost up)
• boston, teagan and i hanging out in the kitchen eating some fresh berries (strawberries, blueberries & blackberries) for snack
• a new cleaning lady has finished cleaning the master bedroom and is onto the front bathroom
• adult Contemporary music playing on the satellite radio feed on the television in the living room
• the girls giggling over the word “butt”
• the smell of a clean house wafting through my house
• the hot afternoon sun pouring through the windows at the back of the house and in the bedroom
• i’m anticipating michael home from work pretty soon after a hard day
• dinner is prepped and ready for the oven (orange chicken, mandarin oranges and baby baked potatoes)
• the girls are finally feeling better after a 2 week battle with colds
• i’m so excited it’s almost the weekend (father’s day weekend)
• i’m feeling happy
Story 31: Joy | “I Don’t Belong Here”
recently, i’ve started to realize that my life seems to be a rollercoaster of emotion. i find that I’m never sitting in the feeling of pure bliss or agonizing heartache for long periods of time. i recover quickly from both to get back to this middle ground. i’m always feeling like there should be something more, like I don’t really belong here.
it’s because i don’t belong here. this is not my home. i’ve tried striving and i’ve tried being lazy. nothing seems to quell the feeling of ill-content. most of the time i just have this lingering feeling like i’m not settled. the feeling that i shouldn’t unpack everything because this isn’t where i should be. i believe this is more than just where i am physically. my place is not on this earth and my heart wants to be where God is. i won’t be filled by anything else on this earth. not my kids. not my husband. not the place that i live. not my posessions.
i know i need to experience the heartache and the joy of this life because it’s God’s plan for me. i’ve always said that it takes experiencing despair to fully understand and appreciate joy. i find that this is reiterated in my relationships and throughout my life. it takes saying the same thing over 31,267 times to revel in the feeling when your children actually learn the lesson you’ve been trying to teach them. it takes the loss of someone so important to fully understand the love you have for those closest to you.
i still have lessons to learn and there is still purpose for my life. that’s why i’m here. there is more heartache to come and there’s also uncomparable joy.
right now my joy is my family. as long as i have them i can pretty much do anything and make it through any situation. they make me happy every day (even when they drive me crazy). i am blessed by God beyond what words can express. they make my life doable. michael, teagan, boston and kennedy – they are my joy.