Lindsay Teague Moreno

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1 Word To Eliminate From Your Business Vocabulary

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One area I continually feel like a failure in is conflict management and resolution.

I didn’t grow up with good examples. My family was a fight to the death kind of family. If there was a problem it was an immediate war, which has made me avoid conflict in business.

As I’ve grown, those lessons (or lack thereof) have bubbled to the surface and, honestly, I’m really self-conscious about it.

I’m getting better each day and with every effort. I learn from books, and articles, and real-life conversations. It’s going to be a learned skill for me, if I can master it.

My problem is I want to be liked and conflict to me ends in, “yea, i’ve decided I hate you.” I am realizing that I can’t control others feelings about me so I just have to do my best and let the rest be.

In an article I recently read, the author was talking about the one word to eliminate from your business vocabulary because it sparks defense on the part of the other party.

That word is, “why.”

If you have to have a confrontation with someone that could end up in a conflict or you have to resolve a conflict that has already reared it’s ugly head, using the word ‘why’ puts the other person on the defense. It implies that an entire explanation for an action is needed.

I think it also implies that they were absolutely at fault, when clearly they have their own side of the story.

Next time, instead of asking someone “why would you say that?” or “why would you do that?” try asking some what or how questions. The other party will feel less defensive.

“What happened that brought you to that conclusion?” or “how did your feelings create that action?” or “how did you perceive the situation?” or “what led to actions?”

These are safer questions to help get you to a resolution rather than a bigger problem that ends in severed relationship.

I don’t know about you, but I certainly have had enough of those in business and would be happy to avoid any more.

 

XOXO,

6 Things You Need To Do To Make Your Business More Fun

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I’ve been thinking a lot about the phrase “time flies when you’re having fun” as I reflect back on the past 4 years.

It feels like minutes have passed in my life but when I look at my girls I know it’s been a lot more time than that.

They’re 4 years older, 4 years bigger, 4 years more self-sufficient than they were when I first started my business.

Where did the time go?

How did it pass so quickly?

The answer is so simple.

FUN.

I have loved doing what I do so much in the past 4 years, it went by in the blink of an eye.

We cannot possibly think we’re going to sustain our businesses if we don’t believe in our heart of hearts it’s a fun way to spend our time. If it’s not fun for you yet, might I suggest that you’re not doing it right.

Now, it’s not always going to be fun and for me easy doesn’t equal enjoyable, but for the most part I love what I do. Do you? 

People that learn to make their jobs fun are more successful and have a higher retention rate. If you have a team around you, you should work on making it more fun for them too!

If your business is more stressful than fun for you, here 6 things you need to do to make your business more fun:

1. Cultivate a group of your people that you can open up to. I find the really hard stuff a lot more fun when I can share some crappy comment or harsh email with my friend Melissa or Liz. They know my business and they know what I do. Most importantly, they know my heart and me. They can put it in perspective for me and laugh with me a lot of days, which is the medicine for that kind of thing. They help me keep my business light when I get intense.

2. Use the talents, skills, abilities and hobbies you developed before you started your business. Be willing to give people the thing you really love doing. For me, that was creating graphics on the computer. It was identifying needs. It was also writing. I love doing those things now just like I loved them before I started my business. What can you share with people?

3. Play a little more. If you have a team, get into wherever you communicate and play with one another a little bit. If it’s just you, do this on social media. Talk about personal stuff. Create connections between people you know. Form new relationships. Business doesn’t have to be so serious. It can be really…wait for it…fun.

4. Brainstorm. Getting inspired by new ideas and getting a new project off the ground is really satisfying and working hard to get it started can be one of the most fun parts of being your own boss. Get out there. Find a group of likeminded people and create something together.

5. Work in new places. Take your laptop out back today to work. Take it to a coffee shop and get yourself your favorite drink. Go to Chick-Fil-A and enjoy work with a side of Chick-Fil-A sauce. Ok, maybe that last one is just for me but try mixing up your regular routine to inject some fun into the day.

6. Give yourself a challenge. I always get really inspired and excited about having a new goal to go after. I love the way it makes me feel. Challenge yourself (and your team) on a new goal to work toward. Maybe it’s a daily challenge and maybe it’s just short-term. Your call, but make it something to strive for.

Don’t believe the lie that it’s only worthwhile in business if it’s hard and boring. That’s not the truth.

If I’m missing time with my family for it, it damn well should be a lot of fun. I better want to spend my work time doing my work and not wishing it was over.

XO,

I See You, Woman!

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Yesterday was one of those days. The one where you just want to throw in the towel. The day all of the work and intentions and negativity shows up at the door and demands to be paid in their currency known as attention. On days like that, you can’t escape the sadness and the curiosity gets the best of you.

Why am I doing this?

Why am I working so hard for this?

Why am I spinning my wheels?

Then you find yourself saying the one sentence you have been avoiding: THIS DOESN’T MAKE ME HAPPY. I’m not alone. I see women on the life treadmill everyday and while my treadmill is work, I see it in stay-at-home mom’s all the time because that was me.

I see you. Never sitting down. Jumping in the car for this or that. Running out to help the kids. Running around to organize for the next day. Constantly putting something away. Saying “yes.” Finishing this. Starting that. Thinking. Constantly thinking. What’s next? How late are we? I forgot this. I have to be here and there at the same time. What’s for dinner? How will I still be awake at the end of the night for that?

I. See. You.

You’ve put aside the little things you love for the household, the family, the clean house, the charade that your family has it all together. Let’s be honest, ain’t nobody got it all together. That’s true no matter how many perfect Instagram photos of perfectly packed lunches (in shapes and with all food groups accounted for) or freshly-bathed children sleeping soundly at 7:30pm or spotless kitchens in the background you scroll through every day. Those are lies. Yea, I said it. If that’s you and you want to email me with pictures to prove it, I’ll save you the time–you’re better than me, I get it. For the rest of us that don’t live in Stepford, it’s time to own the mess. I sure will celebrate with a picture when sleeping kids at 7:30 happens to me but it’s still strangely absent from my feed…hmmm.

Let's be honest, ain't nobody got it all together. It's all lies. Lindsay Teague Moreno

Let’s get back to you. I need to get back to me.

The things I let go of? Photography, scrapbooking and reading something besides business books. I’m no longer a professional in photography or scrapbooking (that was a past life) but that doesn’t mean I don’t still love it passionately. I miss it. My real life and my profession as a leader have overtaken my time dedicated to these two things because I haven’t made me a priority.

Recently, I picked up my big girl camera for a couple of occasions and it felt so good…like riding a bike. I’ll post more pictures of both of the things I photographed in other posts but I want to make a couple of recommendations to you based on what I remember as I sat down in my familiar seat at the computer to start on my favorite part of the photo process: editing. Loud music, pen in my hand, hot drink sitting on my desk. It’s so zen. It’s so…me.

Here’s what I think:

#1. If you don’t make time for the things you love, they sure won’t make time for you. Your kids will eat it up. The person in your life will eat it up. Your friends. Your co-workers. Your job. Your obligations. Your everything will eat up your time unless you don’t let it. It’s up to you to carve out the time without the guilt that surrounds that kind of activity. I know you have kids, responsibilities, jobs, commitments, things to do for others, a kitchen to scrub down. I know. Me, too. Spoiler alert: those things will all be there in an hour or two. As women, I don’t think we make enough time to do the things we love and I want to change that. We need to take back the us we were before we said too much yes. It’s our fault, guys. We did this to ourselves and we have the power to get ourselves out.

#2. I recently saw Jessica N. Turner speak about her book The Fringe Hours at a business event I put on in Scottsdale, Arizona. Why would I bring someone to talk about not working at a work event? Because it’s integral to sustained, high-quality work. Jessica talks to women about making time for the things we love. Something that we let go of so easily and yet can make such a big difference in our happiness. We have to do it. Read this book. It should be on every woman’s must-read list.

The Fringe Hours Jessica N. Turner Lindsay Teague Moreno Blog

So, let’s do this, yea? Read the book. Pick up what you miss the most. Find something for you.

Lindsay Teague Moreno

What Happens When You Meet Yoda?

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Sometimes you meet a person who has a “name” and you’re super disappointed that they’re not what you’ve expected (not that your expectations are fair) or you’re all bummed that they weren’t quite how they portray themselves online. I am sure more than one person has felt that way about me in the past and I get that. It’s hard to know exactly who a person is from a few blog posts or instagram photos; you build a person up to be someone that they’re not. Michael always tells a story about how horrible it was to meet one of his childhood heroes, Ken Griffey, Jr., when he was a kid. Apparently he was a real jerk and it cut Michael deep. Working with people online for 12 years, I’ve had my share of crushing disappointment.

In May, I got the chance to meet a dude that I highly respect as a writer and a hustler. I read one of his books, felt like he understood where I was in my business and my life, laughed the whole way through (which, if you know me, you know is super important), highlighted pretty much the whole thing, finished it, opened it back up to page 1 and started again. That book was the catalyst to some major life decisions that Michael and I made for both our family and our businesses. I probably recommend that book to every person I encounter that asks what book they should read. I also posted an Instagram photo on my 2nd time though the book that said this:

I wanted Jon Acuff to be the dude I had built up in my head as I read his books. I wanted him to be hilarious and smart and full of Yoda-like wisdom that comes with somehow having conversations with hundreds of brilliant people around the country. I was willing to pay pretty much anything he asked me to for the people that I work with to experience what I did when reading not one but three of his books. So we booked him for an event we put on in Utah called Hustle Under the Stars and they LOVED him. He stood outside for hours signing books and taking pictures with us Lemon Droppers.

Lindsay Teague Moreno & Jon Acuff at HUTS 2015

You guys, he’s so much better than just a HilariousBusinessYodaGuy. He also cares about people. He’s a doer. He is willing to be vulnerable when he needs to be to teach a lesson. He spent his valuable time with us when we asked him to. He answered the questions we peppered at him at dinner one night. I’m baffled by his “someone told me once…” stories. I have so much to learn. Just 2 meetings with him and I know I have so much to learn. Basically, he let 2 strangers connect to him and where he’s going and what’s on his heart. Jon Acuff does not disappoint.

So all of that leads me to this: Michael and I are in this place right now where we are really reaching out to connect with our higher purpose. We have been able to give away more this month than we have in all the years we have been married combined. It feels really good and for the first time I think we can actually change lives on a massive scale. Since we lived in Reno, Michael especially has been moved to do work with women who find themselves addicts, involved in prostitution and human trafficking. When Jon mentioned an organization he is working with that connects to that same purpose, we knew it could be a great way for us to get involved.

This week, Michael flew out to Nashville to be a part of Jon’s campaign to give back to Thistle Farms. Michael decided to take one of our daughters, Teagan, with him to experience a service project for the first time (sidetone, HOW can they be old enough for this now?). They boxed and labeled 1,000 candles to help raise money and create jobs for the women of Thistle Farms. You can read more about what they do on their website but it is freaking cool what they’re doing for women in Tennessee. Jon has set a goal to sell 5,000 candles in the coming months to help buy much-needed supplies and hire more employees that need these jobs to survive. Quite literally, their lives depend on them. You can learn about his BHAG (big hairy audacious goal) HERE. Mad respect for such a big goal.

Michael and I struggled with saying “yes” to this event because when it comes to something as important as helping people in need, we want to make sure it’s done for the right reason and it’s not seen as “publicity.” So, we told about 3 people what he was doing and he went to see for himself what it was all about.  A few of you spotted Michael and Teagan in the photos posted on social media from the event, which is hilarious.

Thistle Farms

Knowing Michael would likely meet Jon’s wife, Jenny, at the event, I sent him with instructions to talk to her. You gotta know the person behind the person. There’s always a brilliant wife behind a husband that writes honest and hilarious things. There has to be, right? As I suspected, Michael told me that the Acuff family is legit awesome.

Michael with the Acuff Family

They’re sweet, real, funny, big hearted people…of course they are. Michael tells me Jenny has the best questions ever and is just as brilliant as I told him she would be. Teagan loved her. She told me she gave her brownies and Sprite – what’s not to love about that for a 6-year-old? They spent time with Michael and Teagan. They put themselves out there and used their voice to help other people even in the middle of the hustle and I can get on board with that. I can tell you from experience, putting your name on the line to raise money for people that need it is super scary and intimidating. I say “no” to almost everything people ask me to promote for this reason. The internal tape goes like this: “Am I enough to ask this of people? Do people really trust me? What if nobody shows up? What if it’s a flop? That’s on me. I would be disappointing people who need me.” It’s really hard. The Acuffs did it though and I have got a ton of respect for that. I’m proud to have had a small part of our family there to support that action because we need more of that.

You want form your own opinion?
1. Follow his blog because hilarious and awesome. www.acuff.me
2. Read his book Do Over because hilarious and awesome.
3. Tonight at 7:30pm (central), Jon is gathering the Lemon Droppers to do a webinar for us. He’s giving selflessly of his time for FREE to help us in our businesses. Who does that? If you want to be a part of it, you’re welcome to sign up and hear what he has to say. If you work or know someone that does, I know it will apply to you. No matter what, you will at the very least be entertained. You gotta sign up.

www.acuff.me/lemondropper

Jon Acuff Lemon Dropper Webinar

Bottom line, I’m blessed to have connected with Jon in my business and I have even more respect for his hustle now that I’ve gotten to know him even a little bit. I’ve never been more NOT disappointed in meeting someone I wanted to be awesome. Thanks Acuffs.

Lindsay Teague Moreno

Normal is Bliss

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You know, sometimes your life just goes off the rails. You move into something you’re passionate about, you find your spark, you are forced to really buckle down on something for a bit and you lose the person you were before, for a short while. I have noticed this kind of thing play out a few times in my life:
-During a breakup with an ex-boyfriend
-During my master’s program
-After my mom died
-When I took a big corporate gig
-When I was pregnant with my twins

I found myself in a “twist” in the plot of my life; a nice little curve ball that I wasn’t expecting. We become a chameleon for a bit, adapting to our situation and, I believe, just trying to survive until we can get back to who we are, what we love to do, the relationships we let slip on the priorities list.

Have you been here?

Welcome to my life since March 25, 2013. I let absolutely everything go for the last 2 years to create something out of a business that I believe God opened a one-way door into. I was at the point where my only choice was yes. When I say I let everything go, I mean it. Friends, family, health (outside of my oils, thank God), faith, my hobbies, the things I love to do, my obligations, even my kids…it was a life fire sale. “Everything must go!” I spent all hours on work. Building, striving, struggling, winning, losing, growing, learning, teaching, creating, thinking, dreaming…

All of those things were the opportunity cost of my work hours. I gave it all up willingly for a short term to earn the freedom to have all the time I want for those things in the future and you know what? I LOVED it. I found my passion wasn’t just in creating, it was in teaching women leadership. I wouldn’t have ever learned that without the work. Two years and I just knew this whole thing would work. I don’t know how, I just did. It was supernatural. There was a peace in me about saying to Michael, “just give me two years.” I knew it would be a 2-year process. Supernatural. I knew we were going to see massive success. Supernatural. I knew it would set our family up for a completely different normal when we came out of the other end. Supernatural. I am keeping good on my promise. God is keeping good on his promise. I like to think we’re high-fiving on this one.

To everything there is a purpose.

This is the first time I’m consciously making the effort to take a giant step back from something that is going so right. You guys, it is going so right. Sometimes I just stare at Michael in disbelief at how right it is. At the same time, if I want all to be right in the world again, it’s time to scale back on work and focus on the things I made a complete mess of in the process of building a business…or four. The biggest mess? Me. I made a complete cluster out of myself. It’s time to fix me.

This weekend I posted this instagram and it sparked this post.

I figured many of you can relate to those seasons in life where things just change for a little bit and you have to get back to that person that you are in your core. It’s a season, and you know what? I think seasons are awesome. We always come out changed. We have learned something new. We have new wisdom. We’re better for them. Even the really shitty stuff. The stuff that you think is going to break you. You’re better for it. You have to be thankful for it. By far the hardest thing I’ve learned through a season is being thankful through grief, but I am because I’m better for it. The broken parts of my heart heal but they leave a permanent mark. You know, it’s the scars that remind me of the bliss; the normal, average, everyday bliss. It’s time to snuggle up into that bliss of completely normal. It’s time to have a Saturday where I’m bored. It’s time to get back to me.

Tell me about the seasons in your life in the comments.

Lindsay Teague Moreno

Intentionally 2015 (read: I’m baaaaack)

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In January, I decided I was going to take this year to do a few things very intentionally after working pretty much straight through for the last two years. Abstract stain watercolors

In 2015, I decided I needed to pick a word, I needed to set some intentions and I needed to stick to it. Thank you, Ali Edwards, for making things I can’t resist and sharing your ideas.

This year, I’m coming up on my 2-year-agreement with M. Let me back up a bit here. Almost 2 years ago (on March 25th), Michael and I were having a “discussion” (read: big huge argument) about my working all of the sudden after having sacrificed so much to land him his (at the time) dream job. We had both worked really hard to get him where he was and here I was ripping out the pages of the story we had told ourselves about the life we were going to have. After all either of us could say was said, I asked him, as the man I love and the person that loves me unconditionally to give me two years. “Give me two years to see what I can do with this. If it’s not ‘something’ in two years, I’ll walk away. I need you to let me do this.” Of course, being the man of pure gold that he is, he agreed. That was the day we were done fighting about it.

You better believe I laced up my shoes and started sprinting. I am coming up on two years of the hustle and I am literally almost breathless. My business is on FIRE; I mean it’s a raging forest fire, but I am out of breath. I had to fight off people that I believed wanted the best for me and instead wanted to use me and hurt me. I had learn to drown out the noise of those who wanted to tear me down with words and hurtful actions. I had to struggle with those who wanted to change the direction I knew I should be going. It has been a two year battle; the most amazing, rewarding, hard-fought battle of my life. I have sacrificed having other priorities, including my family. I have sacrificed all semblance of simplicity of life. I have sacrificed play. I have sacrificed focus.  I have been successful but I am tired of the criticism, it’s not supposed to hurt coming from people that don’t know and love me but it does. You know where I believe all of it stems from? A false sense scarcity and unneeded competition.

criticism quote

It’s important that I stick to my word with M. I told him two years and I meant it. So, I’m preparing to put plans in motion so I can keep good on the promises I made. I’m not quitting, let me just say that straight out. I’m not, but I can’t keep up with the amount of people that need me. I have to have a plan to be able to enjoy my life and enjoy my work, which I do. I love my work. I am so passionate about what I do. This is something that is so so hard to do. I’ll never walk away. It’s a part of me like my arms and legs are a part of me. The Lemon Droppers are an extension of me. I just need to get more organized and I need to make room for the new! I’m going to be totally honest with you, this  makes me worried about the fallout I’ll get from the 20,000 + people that depend on me. It makes me worry that I’m letting others down. You know who I’m really letting down? My circle. My family, my friends and myself. Each time I choose someone else that I don’t know ahead of them I feel shame and I know I show them with my actions that they don’t mean as much to me as someone on the other side of my computer.

this matters Lindsay Teague Moreno Blog

In order to help me keep good on my intentions, I’ve decided to blog again. I am going to make it a priority. I’ve decided to do Project Life because I love it and it’s important to me that my kids have it. I have decided to write more because it’s a great way for me to help and teach others. I want to help others. I want to teach and mentor others, I just have to have time to do it. Right now I feel like I’m not doing anything with perfection. There are tiny chinks in everything and the people that end up sacrificing? My husband and kids. My people get more time than they do and that ain’t right.

This year I will:

REEVALUATE MY PRIORITIES
STRIVE FOR SIMPLICITY
WORK HARD | PLAY HARD
FOCUS ON ONE THING
ACT WITH VALOR

Starting this blog and making this post is valiant for me. Am I ready to be open on the web like this still? Yes, I am. Am I ready to commit to this? Yes, I am. Am I going to make this blog kick ass? Yes, I am.

Welcome to sunlightandair.dreamhosters.com. I hope you like it here. Throughout the coming month, I’ll try to fill up this blog with some of the best posts from my old blog before I shut that one down for good. I’ll be writing on business, scrapbooking, photography and my life. I hope you’ll follow along.

Lindsay Teague Moreno